Introduction
I won’t lie, this is my first time really writing about myself. Being a mom means we often are focused on our tiny humans more than ourselves. I am also a nurse, so when I am not at home focused on my family then I am at work focused on caring for others.
So a little about myself…I am 31, and have been married to my amazing supportive husband Chris for almost 9 years. We have a 3 year old daughter named Paelyn, and a little boy due in August. Currently, we live just outside of Tulsa, OK. I work as an ICU nurse and my husband is a State Trooper. To say our schedules get crazy would be an understatement.
Life in Quarantine
We bought our first home just over 3.5 years ago, in the quiet town of Coweta, just outside of Tulsa, OK. Chris played Minor League Baseball for the first 4 years of our marriage and we just lived wherever the game took us. It has been so nice to finally settle in to a place and really call it home. Our house is settled into a small neighborhood with lots of trees and big lots. My sister, her husband, and their 6 month old baby live about 11 miles away and then my parents live just 2 miles away on just over an acre of land. We have always been a very close family and it has been so nice to have everyone so close.
Before the quarantine we were a very busy little family. Paelyn was going to daycare full time and in the evenings we were shuffling between ballet, swim lessons, and play dates.
With me being a nurse and my husband a State Trooper our schedules were never consistent, so for us it has really taken a village to help with our daughter. Our shut down came the week following Spring Break. It was a huge adjustment for us. Both of my husband and I had to continue working, in fact the crisis had us working even longer days. Daycare closed and this left us having to quickly arrange who would watch our 3 year old. We are blessed that both my mom and sister, who live so close, are teachers. They were able to split time watching Paelyn so we could continue to go to work. I stressed that this sudden change would be hard for my toddler because not only had her school closed but all of her activities. She is a little social butterfly, and if you have ever met my husband you know where she got this from. Thankfully she adapted much better than I anticipated. The hard part has come in trying to explain to your toddler why they can’t go to their school or activities. I had a breakdown one afternoon while I was off work. Paelyn and I were playing in the driveway. She has a sandbox she loves to dig through a find her “treasures”. When she looked up she noticed one of the neighbor kids was also outside playing with another neighbor. She asked if she could go play too and I had to explain that because a lot of people are sick right now and we want to help not spread germs that she was not allowed to go over to play right now. The look on her face was heartbreaking; I had to turn around to hide my tears.
Growing a Human
While all of this has been happening I have also been dealing with all the highs and lows that comes with being pregnant. We first found out we were expecting in late November and we were thrilled with the unexpected surprise. Chris has always been a very involved dad and it has not been any different through this pregnancy. He loves going to each appointment and honestly gets a little more excited than even myself. When they initiated the lockdown they also restricted visitors during all OB appointments. I think it has been harder on him than me to not be at those appointments. My OB does an ultrasound at each appointment so they have let me FaceTime him so he can see the baby. WE are hoping that restriction ease enough that he is allowed at some of the appointments before delivery at least. I am currently I am 27 weeks along…only 13 weeks to go!
One of the hardest parts of being pregnant during this time, for me, has been the restaurant closures. I had been craving a very specific lo mein from a local restaurant and I called over and over with no answer, then I drove over only to see a sign in the window that they were closed until further notice…and the tears again. I would love to say that the quarantine has taught us too cook more and eat out less but for us it has been the opposite. Working more we both are too exhausted to cook, or more likely to clean dishes, and so we eat out most of our meals these days. I just justify this in my head by thinking I am helping the restaurant industry keep afloat…one meal at a time.
Working Through a Pandemic
To be honest I thought I had seen quiet a lot in my nursing career. I have worked years as an ICU nurse and then another few years as a House Supervisor for our hospital. Working in any critical care setting you see a lot of things that would surprise most people. This virus definitely surprised me and we had to learn to quickly adapt. Usually in nursing we learn our patient’s diagnosis and then we have a plan to help the patient with this virus there were and still are many unknowns. I watched patients with this diagnosis show minor to no symptoms at all while other would spend weeks in our ICU on a ventilator. Our patients were often scared, confused, and alone. I think most hospitals in the country locked down allowing no visitors. It was done for not only the safety of the patients but also for the general population to decrease exposure and risk. So many times we became not just patient’s nurse but also their whole support system through their stay.
For the first time in my career I also struggled with how to be a good nurse but to also protect my unborn child. I am usually the nurse that jumps into any situation to help a patient in need. Not much scares me away from doing my job but the unknowns of this virus, especially for the pregnant population had me hesitating for the first time in my career. Every day after work I went home and striped down in my garage and went straight to the shower. I washed and bleached everything I touched; car keys, phone, watch, and check card. My hands were raw from washing them so often. We know more now and I am less fearful but I am still very cautious.
For my husband, Chris, things actually slowed down at work for him slightly. Fewer drivers on the road meant less car accidents, speeders, flat tires, and other things. I was thankful for that. As a wife of a law enforcement officer, there is not a day that I don’t worry about him out there on the road.
New Normal
To be honest I am thankful for the things this time has taught me. So often we were running from one activity or thing to another. I have enjoyed learning to be creative, playful, and imaginative with my daughter again. This time showed me that sometimes I need to slow down and just enjoy the moments. We also learned to really look at what we are spending our money on and I learned that we really could do better. We were already tracking our monthly budget but I didn’t realize how much walking into a store we could end up going over what we planned to spend buying things we didn’t really need. Our overall spending dropped dramatically during this time and we were able to put a lot of money back in to savings to help when I go on maternity leave. We have always been fans and followers of the Dave Ramsey plan. We do not believe in keeping credit cards and no limit our debt. Currently we only owe on my car and our house. Meaning no cell phone payments, no credit card, his truck is paid off, and no student loans. When you get to choose what you do with your money instead of it being chipped away at by different people you owe than it is truly a freeing feeling. (If anyone wants more detail of how we are working these steps please feel free to reach out to me).
I was also able to take this time to simplify our lives. Each day off we had we picked one area or room to go through and just declutter. Before this I always felt too busy and so even though the house looked clean we didn’t realize how much STUFF we had accumulated. Even as things open back up I am hoping to keep this new ‘tradition’ of picking one area to go through and simplify.
One thing I won’t take for granted again is our hair dressers. For me and my schedule I am only able to get in maybe every 3rd month but when that month falls during a nationwide shut down. I panicked that it wouldn’t be until after maternity leave that I would be able to get scheduled. The scariest part was I had to become my husband’s barber…it was not pretty. He is required to keep his hair trimmed and neat for his job. That man’s hair grows quicker than my pregnancy hair and about 3 weeks in to the lock down we could not hold out any longer. So I took a quick YouTube video and prepared myself. It was definitely not perfect or evenly blended in the least but I did it and our marriage survived, ha-ha. Hey he is lucky I didn’t just buzz the whole thing.
Overall I just want to say to each of you out there, WAY TO GO. Parenting is HARD and you did it during an unprecedented time. There was no right or wrong way to navigate this difficult time. We all just did the best we could for our families. We all had to adapt to some new kind of normal weather becoming a temporally stay at home mom, working from home, those with older children distance learning, budgeting because you were furloughed or lost jobs, and the million other scenarios. You are all rock stars!
